The 6th Anniversary of that car accident.

     And I made it through the long work day, chatted with pal Kim after work and drove home in that Neon I bought this past Saturday from a Craig's List seller.  And thought about that accident some today while I was working. And how it has changed my life and changed me.

     It took a long and painful recovery before I returned to work, and there has been some rough days just to stay working but I keep winning that battle.  It took a long time to get the insurance settlement but I put it, or most of it to good use/work in my life.  

     I never came to love that truck I bought as a replacement for my red Mazda truck that I did love very much, but I have taken good care of it, and will continue to do so.  It is currently at the shop to get the transmission rebuilt and will come home to semi-retirement as the old house jobs truck.  I appreciate it, and have put a lot of funds into it, it is old and rusting but has served me well.

     The same old house, and it keeps slowly improving, and I keep being glad I bought it and live here. The same plant, now with a different company to work for, some changes made there and more coming as the new company works to tweak us into their company and their way of doing things. 

     A milder winter than the past 2 have been, working day shift instead of a split shift, working production instead of store room clerk, but day's work for me, now.

     A quieter life than back before the accident and a bit more careful with money, some payroll savings and investments for my future, and a life that has the possibility of going on disability before I am retirement age, not something I ever considered before that Buick crossed the center line in heavy traffic and I knew we would be hit head on and there was damn little I could do to minimize that accident.

     No going back, no changing the past, just adjust and live with what I cannot change, do what I can to have the life I want and that works for me and appreciate each and every day.  At times, it gets hard to find that bright spot, that high point in the day, but if I look, if it matters enough, I can always find a positive thing, a bright ray of light and a reason to know I am blessed.

     6 years have gone by, a lot has changed, I have changed, but there is not sitting around and feeling sorry for myself, first, it does not fix anything, second, I just am not good at that self pity stuff, and most of all, I am tough, hard and mean.  It was my life, and some man with marriage problems managed to get himself killed and really did a number on my little, much loved red truck, on my son and on his gal pal, and on my right leg and my brains.  

     He is dead, and I live on, brain has a few glitches, keep the chemical balance right and it has far fewer glitches.   The right leg and foot is not screaming mad at me as often has it was the first couple years, but that does not mean everything is better, some things will never 'get better' but I make life work and I make that foot and leg work also.

     I lost some precious dreams, can't actually blame that car accident for that, but it was involved.  And I found what really matters, and I learned just how strong and tough I can become.   And how very valuable my independence is to me.  

     And I will make this year a good year in my life, and keep moving forward with my life and with what works for me, my way and in my time frame.