Last winter it was the kitchen and get actual cupboards, cabinets and a real, working sink I liked, real counters and a real big refinance the almost paid off mortgage. I survived that, I still have trim work to finish but it might actually get done this winter.
But I had that sewing space in the attic to retreat to and hide out in. Now, the attic is the work in progress, just over a month so I cannot actually claim it has been that long. I am already going insane, ready to abuse my co-workers over petty things, stressed and want to beat on that son that is again living with me, living supported again by me.. who is doing a lot of that work to finish dry walling and tape, mud and finish all the drywall except the inside of the future bathroom area.
He finds time to game, to watch anime on the tv I own, with the internet service I pay for, shower in the water I pay for, using the towels I own, the shampoo and such I also buy. But he has a hard time getting much work done up in that attic space, where I also have my only sleeping space, done.
Jobs that should take a week or so are taking 2-3 weeks to do that area, and they get done because I go work on them, and I push him to get stuff done while I am at work, earning that money that is supporting the both of us.
Yes, today I am whining and bitching and just venting. Yes, I could ask him to move out, and he would, with no anger or raving, and go, where, he would not say, but he would leave... in time to probably be back under my roof, living off me.
Getting a job and keeping it, staying employed with an income does not seem important to that more than 30 years old son, and that too, frustrates and upsets me. I know I cannot make him be any different, he chooses his own path an lives his own life his way, for the most part. But I see it as he is throwing hi life and time and abilities away, and that bothers me.
I know I don't have much control over my adult children and how they choose to live their lives, where they live, who they spend time with, but I can still be bothered about their choices and look to see where I might have gone wrong or failed them while raising them.
This morning I will touch up some areas with drywall mud, it has been primed and that helps show up spots that need a bit more attention. While that is drying I can start the cut work, paint with a brush the edges and corners that I can't get painted with the roller. The electrical outlet that needed replaced can get wired in, and paint around them so they can be once again fastened into the box and ready for that breaker to get turned back on. The ceiling will get painted and then the buttercup yellow on the walls, and the large peg board will get fastened back where it goes, 1 less item in the way, a tiny dent in all the mess and clutter that my sewing studio is and will be for weeks still.
My much used and needed old truck is sitting at the repair shop and has to have the transmission rebuilt, I want that old truck and need use of a truck for several more years, so fixing it is my choice. But I also pulled my savings and instead of that little wood shop/hobby shop, bike storage building I had planned and had funds for, I bought a car, 11 years old, $1800 for the car and over $1100 now for taxes, plates, new tires, brake work, transmission lines work, vacuum leak, seat covers....and I am still going to be paying over $40/key to have keys programmed and cut as the car came with only 1 key and 1 remote. The wrong remotes were ordered, my error, they are now on their way back to seller, the key blanks are here and waiting, I do have 1 new remote that is correct and Ben programmed it, a very simple task with the remote that has the right transponder codes.
And that is another irritation to add to my life. The car is nice but it has a huge amount of electronics and so much stuff under the engine hood I have no idea what I am looking at and sure cannot do much of the work.
I still have my taxes to file and will claim that son on my return, it has been over a year since he has been living off/with Mom again..I think I finally have all the stuff I need, will have to check on line with my 401Ks as I moved them with the change in plant ownership. I do have the stuff from cashing out my pension and have to do some reading up on that 10% penalty stuff for cashing it before I turned 59.5, the form has some exemption marked but I do need to read and make sure, if I owe that 10%, I want it paid this tax filing and have it behind me.
And the attic is a huge energy loss until it is finished, and ugly, and disorganized, and having the ceilings finished and the walls done, the sewing studio finished and orderly, storage organized and very usable will be a huge improvement and will last far longer than the disorder and mess it takes to get to that place. I can cope, not exactly sure how, but know I am able to survive this house a mess stuff, this no place to hide and read, watch Netflix, or listen to music, no place to sew.
I know that this winter I am able to afford the cost of all the needed materials and some of the just wanted stuff, that the entire attic expansion has not been a huge cost, but has made a huge improvement on my quality of life and will continue to do so for all the years I am able to live here. These are the things I need to think of and hang on to when the mess and how long it takes starts to make me crazy, depressed and just irritated at that lazy adult living here. The mess does not bother him as much, and he does not have any huge real reason to push himself to get more of the work done while I am out earning a living. I wish he would feel, inside, that it matters to do all he can here, in as timely manor as he can, but he won't, I cannot make him feel that way and I can either ask him to leave, or find ways to cope and know I do get much needed and 'free' help on this old house renovations, if I can just survive the cost of that 'free' help I have living here.
So, now that the coffee maker has been cleaned and rinsed out very well, and coffee made, it is time to get that first load into the dryer, get some coffee and into old house work clothes and go play in my sewing studio, the sooner I get busy up there the sooner this area will be done so we can move things and the next area can be worked. Change the piles and mess around, and find a way to cope and live through another few more weeks of attic mess, bug and push and then we will be to doing the dormer area or starting on the south end.
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