Last Saturday of this month

This has not been a bad month but I feel like my brains have been on auto pilot or in a fog most of the time, especially with money and bills being paid.  It is a very good thing I pay them with a trackable means so I can go check if I did make that payment.

And my hard earned savings is taking a huge hit this coming week, or so I hope, this coming week.  The much needed/wanted  13.5x21.5 foot patio pour is finally getting to the top of my concrete concractor's schedule, He hopes to be framing up Monday.  So, $1989 for the job, part from the lot I sold in MO, the rest is savings, which I have because I work, and because I have automatic withdrawals into 2 savings accounts, every week, 1for long term and the other is usually referred to as 'slush funds'. 

So, the patio job will be paid for, and then I hope to slowly afford the materials for the landing, which I have yet to figure out on paper, and then I can take out the current back door, rip it down to the rough frame again, and take accurate measurements to order a correctly fitting new kitchen door.  And live with plywood and plastic over the opening from when I rip out the old door until the new one is installed.  But, hey, it will be great to go in and out, once done, and it will mean no more packing groceries and everything else around to the front porch.

The patio will get the glider that is currently on the bike patio, once the bags of mulch are off that, and in time, a picnic table or something like and a grill.  I also want 1 of those clay pot outdoor fireplace things, so I can burn up the twigs and small stuff like that.  And a small child's wading pool for Shadow to play in.

The old house progress here goes so very slowly most of the time, and if have not put the house first as often as I should have, but I am working to do more of that, less wasting money, more long term planning for what I want my life to evolve into, this house to turn into, goals once again, solid ones I can build to and reach.

I need to build my life, my way, and not just exist, day to day, or just 'go with the flow', but I am making some progress with that.  I feel like I am back tracking a huge amount when I see my savings balance drop so much, so fast, but then remind myself, it is a huge step in old house progress, and every week my savings gets money, it will grow again, and the 401K stuff keeps growing, the debt load keeps shrinking, next tax refund might pay off what is left of the mortgage by then.  Credit debt goes done slowly, but every month it is a bit less, so, stability is gained.

But I still wish I had won a terrific new grill for my patio instead of a huge new flat screen tv, which I will set up and enjoy after Jake moves out, he can help me finish up the shelf project and get the 55 inch tv out of the corner of a closet and onto the shelf before he leaves with the current living room tv.

Tired and a bit blue

Work has issues, rotation does not go well this week due to manning issues, not in my control and I need to work on not letting the situation and the people make waves in my pond.  I like it when I have smooth days, we rotate in a tidy and timely manor and the pace stays steady.  That is not this week, at least not so far.

But the kitchen floor is still clean, I mopped it twice this past weekend, and I have swept the living room floor and upstairs so that is house chores done, at least for now.

The sun is out but it is not very warm, but I need to get someone to come mow and my hostas are coming up.  The roses are starting to leaf out some but I am not seeing any signs of life from any pampas grass clumps.  I worry that I might have lost all of me and it will take several years to get something else growing that will create a living privacy fence for me.

Still no word from the concrete contractor, wish I would hear something soon and see that patio pour done.  I might call him later this week.

Mike Ferrin is now teaching some beginning pottery classes, involved with some Vet. organization and made me a yarn bowl, it arrived yesterday and brightened my wet, cold and gloomy day.  I now have it living on the kitchen bench with my current sock project and it is nice to not be chasing the ball of yarn.

I don't have any real reasons to feel sad and blue so I will blame it on chemical balance, maybe too much pain from work, or the wet and cold weather we keep having.

My life really is very good, finances are snug but I am making progress with the house, with the debt load and still managing to stay fed and keep gas in my truck.  The house is quiet, ok, so the dog is not exactly quiet but no tv and no video games, no heavy political conversation I do not want drug into.  I am not lonely and do not want company or conversation or entertainment, I am doing the heel on the 2nd sock of the long, dark socks I am knitting.

I need several pair of long socks for my Clayville wear and we know I will knit, not buy them.  This first pair is from some more of the yarn left over from Jake's sweater, and in time I will buy yarn in gray to knit another pair.  I do not want white socks, I know how fast they will be dingy looking with me wearing them and weeding the garden or any other outside things I will be doing.

So, I don't want playmates, or tv or conversation, maybe some music, a bit more to eat, work a bit on the sock, read a bit while I knit and get to bed early will help me.  

Open jobs are posted tomorrow, the high point of my Wednesday at the plant, I hope to find something that will suit my body better than what I am doing and on day shift kill floor as I know my body will not tolerate the cold of the cut floor and I do not want to go back to working 2nd shift.

I know part of my problem is being so tired and hurting so much, so hopefully I can change that by bidding to a job that suits my old body better.

But I am working and earn more than I would have coming in if I was on disability, and I am happier than if I was on disability, and I will get through this blue spot.

glitchy Sunday

Today was just 1 of those days when things get done but everything you  do had a snag or glitch or issue.  o, not a bad  day but 1 that did not flow well or run smooth.  The laundry and dishes are all done, most of laundry  is put away, 1 dog leash is mended, the 2nd is ready to sew the hand strap back together, Shadow had managed to chew through both of the chain leashes, on the webbing hand loop.  Easy to fix but it would be nice if he would decide everything he can get in his mouth does  not need in his mouth or  chewed up.
The 2nd pair of drawers fit right so i no longer need to tweak that pattern and once the handwork is done, I can move to the next pattern to  adjust.  But it would have been nice to get the handwork done today, guess I should be glad I did make some progress.
I ran to Rushville to bring Ben here to help me with some tech work, Jake did not let me know a friend called while I was gone, she needed some help with a knitting problem so I ended up trying to  help her by phone instead of in person, which never goes as well.
But it was a good weekend, and I made progress on that list of stuff I want or need to do, the house is quiet and the lunch bag is packed for work, weather is better, stuff outside is growing and I am ready for another week at work.