Saturday, June 23, 2012
Being angry at Jake's dad, again
We have been divorced almost 18 years now and he still can rattle my little world. You just do not all the way free when you have kids. This time Sam 'borrowed' money from Jake for flight back to the states from the Phillipines, his choice to move there, not Jake's.
I know Sam loves Jake, but that does not stop him from using him, nor does it make Sam put Jake first, what Jake needs or wants. Sam's wife spends money like it is water and Jake ends up shafted over it. Not Jake's marriage, not his job to hand over his hard earned savings, but it is his money and his choice to make.
It burns my that Sam would ask, again, and I am not mad at Jake, Dad has him by the heart strings.
If you cannot afford the flight costs, you need to stay on one side of that Pacific ocean or the other. Sam and Cynthia made the choice to sell out the farm and move to her country, now they need to live with their choices, pay their own way and let Jakevwork on making his life work with no farm, horses or ranch future to look forward to.
And once again Sam has me crying, stressed, depressed and what he does to MY son makes a mess of my head, again. His son too, and he is using him like his family did to Sam, he vowed our boy would never be used that way....and now is doing the same damn stuff to our boy as his family did to him. Not much I can do but love Jake and keep being Mom.
Saturday, June 2, 2012
dealing with real life
It's June and I still don't have matters settled with the roofing contractor and small claims court.but we have a court date in late July and I hope I find some Justice and repayment of some of my funds.
The budget here it tight and will be even tighter as I work in the cost of paying for the carpenter who did finally put a roof on my house and possibly even the home inspector.
But I just could not let it go and do nothing, the contractor is not honest and I am not the first person he has ripped off, without my taking him to court there would be no legal record, no chance for others to not trust him with a huge deposit and then get shafted on the job he agreed to do.
Work also has it's pressures, I do like my co-workers but wish for more brains and more actual management from our lead person, and more understanding costs and how tight each department has to watch the man hour costs in the department. They cannot create more opportunity for me to have overtime, there is only 1 person in our department getting consistent overtime and her late come in needs to be a rotation position if any of the rest of us are to have an opportunity for overtime, and so Barb will have to accept giving up some and accept that it is not her overtime but company time that all of us are entitled to a chance to earn some of it.
I will push for being able to work that late come in as a weekly rotation and accept that it will have some of my very small department in a snit with me.
It's not a bad life here, and I do like who I am, where I live and work but today I could easily curl up somewhere and cry, nothing really wrong, so imagine it's tired and body out of balance, I need to remember to take my vitamins more often.
I am working to make better, more practical financial decisions, avoid wasting money when I know I need to pay all the extra I can on the debt load so it will go down faster and I am going to put the blue Honda Passport up for sale on the Yahoo bike group I am in. Selling is is a wise choice, I don't need 2 bikes, I don't have a place to store it so it lives over at Larry's who does tinker with it,which might be part of the reason it's not running right.
And Larry taking over working on my bikes, without me being there, or asking/wanting him to do that irritates me. I don't know what has been done, I don't learn anything and he has 3 bikes of his own and none of them have the battery in yet this season.
But I am doing more 'social' stuff with people outside of the plant and not just Larry, Sharon and I have done the local play several times and I helped serve at the alumni banquet last weekend. I might not be willing to join the work crew for meals together but I go to Cargill to earn a living, not for a social life, my meal break is my time and I do not want to join their little 'parties' now and then. I do have the right to opt out and will continue to do so.
There is a lot here I need to deal with, weeds outside, mess inside, projects to finish, 2 pair of socks started and also a market bag in process, and some of that 'head sorting' But I am making better progress on some of that too, and it's ok if I have some moody blues now and then.
The budget here it tight and will be even tighter as I work in the cost of paying for the carpenter who did finally put a roof on my house and possibly even the home inspector.
But I just could not let it go and do nothing, the contractor is not honest and I am not the first person he has ripped off, without my taking him to court there would be no legal record, no chance for others to not trust him with a huge deposit and then get shafted on the job he agreed to do.
Work also has it's pressures, I do like my co-workers but wish for more brains and more actual management from our lead person, and more understanding costs and how tight each department has to watch the man hour costs in the department. They cannot create more opportunity for me to have overtime, there is only 1 person in our department getting consistent overtime and her late come in needs to be a rotation position if any of the rest of us are to have an opportunity for overtime, and so Barb will have to accept giving up some and accept that it is not her overtime but company time that all of us are entitled to a chance to earn some of it.
I will push for being able to work that late come in as a weekly rotation and accept that it will have some of my very small department in a snit with me.
It's not a bad life here, and I do like who I am, where I live and work but today I could easily curl up somewhere and cry, nothing really wrong, so imagine it's tired and body out of balance, I need to remember to take my vitamins more often.
I am working to make better, more practical financial decisions, avoid wasting money when I know I need to pay all the extra I can on the debt load so it will go down faster and I am going to put the blue Honda Passport up for sale on the Yahoo bike group I am in. Selling is is a wise choice, I don't need 2 bikes, I don't have a place to store it so it lives over at Larry's who does tinker with it,which might be part of the reason it's not running right.
And Larry taking over working on my bikes, without me being there, or asking/wanting him to do that irritates me. I don't know what has been done, I don't learn anything and he has 3 bikes of his own and none of them have the battery in yet this season.
But I am doing more 'social' stuff with people outside of the plant and not just Larry, Sharon and I have done the local play several times and I helped serve at the alumni banquet last weekend. I might not be willing to join the work crew for meals together but I go to Cargill to earn a living, not for a social life, my meal break is my time and I do not want to join their little 'parties' now and then. I do have the right to opt out and will continue to do so.
There is a lot here I need to deal with, weeds outside, mess inside, projects to finish, 2 pair of socks started and also a market bag in process, and some of that 'head sorting' But I am making better progress on some of that too, and it's ok if I have some moody blues now and then.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)