Now that my neighbor Don has passed away, his friend and care giver, Otto, has to learn to move on with his life, and to find a life that is not built around taking care of first Barb and then Don. I promised Don I would help Otto through this and with the details, and as I work on my life and getting it back in working order, I will help Otto with the physical details of his life too and the other 'emotional' stuff as much as I can.
Loads of details to setting up the funneral, to taking care of the provided and needs returned medical supplies, of disposing of old drugs no longer needed, of closing cell phone account. The clothes and such to donate, the surplus beds, surplus wheel chairs, the non-working tv's and so forth that need out and gone. The cleaning so Otto has a home he can be comfortable living in, the cats that need gone, put down. We work on it a little at a time, I can only do so much and it can't all be done in a day. It will take weeks, months to get order over there and it cleaner and safer.
And in the meantime I am working on my life too, the stuff that I need to do, my clean clothes put away, some things here stored, my financial house in tighter order, my personal life in better order.
Mike's call yesterday was 'considerate' and he expressed sympathy at Don's passing, was sorry to hear about my hospital stay with appendix and glad to hear I am healing. I did not hear a word of appology for lying about the mortgage in St. George Utah, or in his telling me I was the 1 wrong and I did not expect it. He did mention he can't seem to fix the block problem with Facebook to get back onto my friends list and would I please add him back on my friends list. That will not be happening, I removed all his family and friends and although his family are not a problem for me, I do not need him having any cyber 'windows's into my life and if any of them are on my friend list, he has that window, use their computer, get them to pull up my facebook when he is at their place so he can check up on me. No, no, he is someone I would like to please just go live his own life and leave me to live mine.
I know I make mistakes, and I know I am hot tempered, judgemental, procrastinate, opinionated, and far too independent. But in the meantme, I get my bills paid on time, I get things done that need done, I am someone my friends can lean on and depend on.
Kid now has tennis balls and loves them, and new chew bones for me to trip over, he's beside my bed when I am here on the bed, asleep or resting. And he is such good company for me, yes, he has cost me some $$ but most of the cost is paid out, vet bill, nutering, bed. I won't have as much of these costs now month from month, Shots might be every year but he only gets nutered once.
I did post photos at the Kish group but have several outfits there and nothing for sale is moving, I will have to go put a lot of doll outfits on watch at E-bay and see what sells and at what prices before deciding what I want to do. I might consider E-Bay but not until more things calm down in my life, if I can get that to happen.
Jake's current socks are going very slow, I need to knit more which probably means I need to do more down time and put my feet up and rest. And I have 2 sweaters that I have not worked on in months that are both for me and I cannot wear either until I am done knitting them.
I am so disappointed in the man Mike Ferrin seems to have become. When I was 16, when I was 20, I did not think I was 'good' enough for this boy home on leave. Now, I am 54, he is 57 and he's not at all the man I thought he would become, and he's also not the man he claims to be either.
I do know he is not a man who can become a quality part of my life, he is not someone who can add value and worth to my life, not emotionally and not financially. So, I can list what I can give to a relationship, now I want to know what a man plans to give to that same relationship.
I don't need sucked dry financially, and I don't need my head 'twisted' because only by messing with myu head ALOT will some man get me to make bloody stupid financial decisions that could ruin my financial stability.
This accident has not done that to me and Mike Ferrin will not do that to me. I am mad, I am indignant but I am not very emotionally hurt by the decision I made to step back from that relationship. First I stepped back, and that was my right, now I have stepped out of that relationship and I will not step back into it and I have closed cyber doors into my life for that man and I have the right to shut the doors and I know how to do it, or at least most of it.
I'm going to be ok, despite the car accident, despite the emergency appendicemy, despite my hard head and overly independent attitude.
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