bills and getting finances in order

I know i am making progress with finances here but it gets hard to believe I will ever get out of the hole I have now. It's my doing, can't blame anyone, want to blame the lies and deception of M.F. but know I had debt before that and know I did not wisely use my lost wages when I was off work and recovering from that damn accident.
So, now I pull from savings to make ends meet, cut back on alot of things, including groceries and know I will get through this, and I know I will get finances into better shape, know in time I will have some of these medical bills off my back, I have paid the co-pay in full on quite a few of them.
I get depressed and angry about some of what has happened in the past 16+ months but know none of that 2010 can be changed, it was a really lousy year, thought I had life into such good shape, was seeing so much progress with finances and the house and my personal life and self esteem. The accident and the deception/lies of M.F. really put a huge dent into both my finances and my self-esteem.
but I am gaining every week, it's not fast progress, it's not easy and when I get depressed I do have more problems with using credit to get things I don't need and sure am better off not buying on credit or not buying at all.
A month can make such a difference here for me and I know that. This financial stress will improve, and the garden is starting to come up, see beans and corn coming through the ground and now want someone to stand rabbit patrol.
I'm staying home tonight, usually sleep at Larry's on my days off, on my day shift days but have chili here and bread sticks rising. He called and is heading to bed, I will see him tomorrow, and i just am moody, feeling down about finances here and don't need to inflict him with it. I took a nap today so will be up later than he is, and might do that soak in the tub with a book or soak and cry--that might actually be very workable, Kid will be glad to have me home and sleep in the house with me.
I'm going to get this posted and check on my bread sticks.