glitchy Sunday

Today was just 1 of those days when things get done but everything you  do had a snag or glitch or issue.  o, not a bad  day but 1 that did not flow well or run smooth.  The laundry and dishes are all done, most of laundry  is put away, 1 dog leash is mended, the 2nd is ready to sew the hand strap back together, Shadow had managed to chew through both of the chain leashes, on the webbing hand loop.  Easy to fix but it would be nice if he would decide everything he can get in his mouth does  not need in his mouth or  chewed up.
The 2nd pair of drawers fit right so i no longer need to tweak that pattern and once the handwork is done, I can move to the next pattern to  adjust.  But it would have been nice to get the handwork done today, guess I should be glad I did make some progress.
I ran to Rushville to bring Ben here to help me with some tech work, Jake did not let me know a friend called while I was gone, she needed some help with a knitting problem so I ended up trying to  help her by phone instead of in person, which never goes as well.
But it was a good weekend, and I made progress on that list of stuff I want or need to do, the house is quiet and the lunch bag is packed for work, weather is better, stuff outside is growing and I am ready for another week at work.

Open, empty back lawn

Jake and Darcy helped me with clean up and burning the yard waste Sunday, now my back lawn/ yard looks so open and empty.  With the pampas grass cut down I have no privacy from the street and alley, the grass had not yet greened up, the day lilies are slow to show up this year so it is a big empty space with no privacy.

In time I will have it fenced and that will help some in the spring and I know it won't be long before things green up and start to grow.  It just take time and warmer weather.

Work is going ok but coming home is not.  Jake living here is livable but his girlfriend staying here most of the time is not.  Talking calmly to Jake about it has not changed things, I like her but I do not want her staying here all the time.  I don't even want her here every weekend.  Or all week and back at her parents on weekends.  I like it best when I am the only human living here, I tolerate Jake living here but know it is short term and he tends to leave me alone, does not chatter at me when I come in from work.

I will not be run out but I admit to hiding upstairs and being not happy about it.  I want my house back, I want no young women staying here most of the time and I want to get up to quiet, I want to come home to quiet, and I want people to go home where they belong.  It they do not want to live at home, then they can go work enough hours to pay rent and get their own place.  Not occupy my home, not make me feel crowded in my own place.

Humans, please go find your own place, nicely, quietly, please just go and leave me to my little old house alone, birds and dog may stay.

Winding down, a long day

But work was over 8 hours, good for that paycheck that will be short 2 days. And I have the batteries back in the Rebel and the scooter and took the scooter to get dog food.

Shadow has been working on pushing to see just how bad he can be and still live.  This dog has a lot of growing pains, as he grows, we have the pains and today he was pushing hard to see just how bad he could be.  Out of the yard and not come to me, jump up on me at the table, he is taking stuff from the table when we are out of the kitchen, found my new tube of Carmex on the living room floor. He has also deliberately peed on the floor, his ' in a snit' thing he does when he can't have his way.  

So, he can sleep in his crate, he is safe, the kitchen floor has been mopped 2times tonight and I am just stressed out with the dog, with a human or two, with things in general.

Tomorrow is the quilt show, the doll club meeting and I need to pick up the concrete patio blocks and some for the retaining wall so I can get that started.  Going 1 more patio block deep, 16" so I can fence across to the southeast corner of the house, with gates to get the bike and scooter in and out.  I need enough depth so the Rebel will fit without having to be at an angle and I need the change done before I start seeing contractors here for bids on the concrete patio pour that I hope/plan to have done this spring/summer.

I hope to see the survey done this coming week, the deposit has been paid and that check cleared my bank, and then I get to start figuring the fencing and what that will cost, as I can afford the materials and do the work.  At least it is a job that can be done in sections.

I really need to keep finances snug and make smart money choices so I can afford that fencing and some drywall and so forth, debt load will not go down very fast but as long as I can pay some over the minimum I will have to be ok with that.  Priorities, the house payment, the fencing and keep nibbling down that debt load, keep adding to the 401K, keep working on my small and boring life.

I am not bored with it but it sure would not make a book any one would pay to read.  I like this town and I like the house I have, might like a location away from such busy streets but at least I can get in and out when the streets are covered in snow.

A back patio and the kitchen door working will help, and fencing will help, along with some planned landscaping and a outdoor fabric "wall" on the south side of the big patio will give me an area where I feel I have some privacy.

But I know I live where anyone who wants to, can keep an eye on my life, and on my coming and going, make me feel spied on, make me feel like I am stalked.  Bugs me but then, I know that is part of why it is done, like tinkering/messing with the Passports was done more to irritate and bug me than to really help me out.  The Passports moved home and have been sold, the scooter and Rebel stay here and I tarp/cover them for weather protection.  My solution to that entertainment, but I don't know yet how I will deal with the spy game or if I will just work on tuning it out for the most part.  It is a good way for a man to become someone I used to spend time with, instead of someone I spend time with but he  has not figured that one out.

Oh, well, petty issues, every one has a few in their lives to deal with and I have dealt with worse.

Men, dating, on line dating web sites and that stuff in general

I admit to looking now and then at on line dating sites, am not willing to date people who work at the plant, don't see dumping the friendship with Larry at this time and have to be honest,the old house projects, both inside and outside hold more interest for me than a potential romance.

I admit to liking my very solitary lifestyle, plenty I enjoy doing alone and if I want company, I can usually find either Larry or a gal pal or son to keep me company.  And I like time alone, a lot of time alone.   I can read, watch what I want to watch, Downton Abby is my current enjoyment. I have time to sew and knit, plan out projects and see progress on them.

And my finances seem to be more stable.  Not getting rich, not even getting out of debt very fast but making ok progress on reducing the debt load, progress on this old house and progress on me.

I think tweaking me is and always will be an on-going project.  I need to find ways to get more organized and more tidy, I need to have better control of my temper, and of my spending impulses.

The weather this winter has been colder with more snow than in the past 10 winters I have been in Illinois and that too has added to my restless moods.  But I got exercise shoveling snow, and I helped my neighbors south of me, so that was good too.

Think there are a lot of good people out there, single and looking to meet someone, hope they find each other, know I am really not 1of them, know I don't want involved with any one, but do look now and then and dream.

Think I am happier dreaming about moving to the Faroe Islands than dreaming about a relationship, both occupy my mind while I do those jobs at the plant that now earn my living, and dating is less fun to dream about than becoming part of a small village on a rocky island in the North Sea.

Not blaming men for this, just accepting the reality of my life, this old house and what I really want for my life and for my future.

The house will be a long and slow project, but it is my project, and I don't want it taken over by someone else, and I sure do not want to loose the roof over my head due to the problems of some other person, not of my doing.  So, alone works for keeping the house and my stability as secure as I can make it, and that seems to be far more secure than I have found life with a man to be.

But I think it is great that 1 of my cousins is taking a holiday with her husband to celebrate their 25th anniversary.  And I like it that friends from childhood are still married to each other, despite all the rough times their lives have had, people I know do make marriage work.

But I don't want marriage, or live together or even a lot of time with anyone right now, I want stable finances and progress on my projects planned for this summer.

Working on that "me" project

Being back on the kill floor and a brainless, for the most part, job means that I have time again to dream and also to nit-pick my life and all the crappy choices I have made over the past 55+ years.

Being single, staying single and only a friendship, a very limited one with 1man seems to be working for me, at least far better than some of the past choices.

And I am working on controlling my using plastic cards to indulge and waste money that I later never seem to get paid off, high interest rates and way too much credit debt.  But I am making a bit of progress, not as much as I want.  But I am saving and have a 401K now to go with that Con-Agra pension I will hope to get every month.  

The house progress seems to be at a stop, I had hoped to see more drywall up but Jake and I did not communicate well with the 3 day weekend I had last month and so I lost that great work time.  But I will see outside progress this spring or early summer and plan to get some drywall, help to get it up into the attic and then help as needed to get it on the south end wall and some more of my ceiling heat loss area.

I am knitting on my 6th sock for the brace, but neglecting the doll clothes sewing that I should be working on and I will hope to make some doll sewing time this coming weekend.  I am tired, have been tired most of the week, but we are not working this Saturday and I plan to sleep later than 5 am if Shadow will let me.

Well, I am falling asleep and need a few things done first so better be done here and get with that before bed stuff.

Bitter cold and ugly outside

I have been in IL for 11 winters now, and this is the coldest winter I have seen here.  But the house is not too cold and the most recent utility bill is less than this time last year, despite it averaging at least 7 degrees colder than this time last month.
I still have a lot of drywall work to do in the attic and 2 windows in the kitchen to replace so I won't complain about the utility bill.  I know it will slowly improve and it is not as bad as many.  The old house has made a lot of progress in the years I have owned it, and it has a long way to go, but I gain a bit as I can afford to and as I have help.
I like my life here, my singleness and lifestyle here.  I work long and hard hours now on days at the plant and like it better than I did the frock room.  The pay is better most of the time also and I don't have the bickering women to deal with.
I am finding time to sew for my dolls and hope to sell some of my work, have most of my tax work done and plans for a survey on the property and get it legally recorded.  I want to try and start work on fencing the north, east and part of the south so I have a more dog safe place here and also deal with the property line issue between my property and the property on the north.
Life here is not perfect but I keep making it work, make the choices that are best for me, and work on letting go of the garbage from the past.
The dog is growing and at almost 8 months old, needs to be spanked a lot more if he was a child, he whines, he bullies, he pitches dog fits if he can't have his own way and he gets time out in his crate.  Living through the next few months with him will be challenging but I know part of his acting up is the cold weather. It has become too cold for the dog to enjoy outside, but it took getting down to 10 above and winds for that to happen.
Jake is doing ok with school and life and the current girlfriend, who is often here.  I like her and enjoy her company so have no complaints.  We all need to put a bit more effort into house work some days and the dishes grow into mountains far too often but we survive.

Living my dream life

Work has moved me out of hourly management and back to production and I am on day shift, the first time in many years I have worked days on a steady basis and I am liking that.  The work is harder, I hurt more and have far less stress and am much happier.  My income is similar so that works well also.
Yes, this is my dream, small stuff, progress on this old house, small perks like a planned trip down to KY for a couple days next month while I have vacation time.  Plans to enjoy the National Quilt Museum and just an escape out of town with my friend Larry to break the winter, if the weather and roads are good the week I am scheduled off on vacation.
The old house projects make little progress most of the time but the debt load is going down every month and I am down to under 26 more house payments.  I plan to sell my lot in MO and think those funds will cover most or all the costs for the concrete work on the back patio I want/need.
The grass has made progress, at least most of the sand is covered in something growing and I added some more day lilies and Robin Hood roses this fall with plans for more of both in the spring.  In time the roses should make a nice hedge between the edge of my south side and the street so the house feels more private.  I have accomplished that in the back with pampas grass along the alley and the south side of the back yard area.  And native day lilies also help fill in that and hold the sand with little care or attention.
Jake has helped some with drywall in the attic area so most of the ceiling has drywall, still have slopes to do on both sides of the south end and both south and north end walls need done but do have 1 sheet on the north end.
Right now the drywall jack is tucked away and I have no plans for more drywall work until warmer weather or I can afford and get some help.  Mostly I am just too tired and often work 6 day work weeks and just hurt and do not want the battle.  Move stuff out of the way, get Jake to help, put up a bit of drywall, clean up, put everything back so I can continue to live up here in the attic and not go nuts.  Ya, prep work and after work is more time and work than getting that sheetrock fastened to the ceiling or wall area.
Really miss living alone but know Jake will have a good start on his education with the time he is here, some money saved up and I like him, LOL but not the loud or the mess that adult sons seem to bring with them.
I am working on thinning out stuff I don't need, from books and patterns to clothes and such so that my small space is workable and enjoyable and if I don't need it, won't use it, can't use it, then it can leave.  Or in the case of many of my books, the library is a far better place as they have more shelf space and far more people can use the woodshop and home repair books and such. 
I wonder how Mike Ferrin is doing, he did comment on a post I made on Facebook but he can't be found with a search so he is hiding out, which I find funny.  Not sure if he thinks it matters much to me or if it his creditors he is hiding from but he has nothing to fear from me.  We walk different roads and we sure look at some things I consider very important different.  But I can say that about several other people I know and dated in the past.
It has been almost 11 years since I came here, for a job and because of a man.  He has been gone from this area and my life for most of those years but I settled in and have made myself a good life with a good job and an old house that really works well for me.
Not saying God has not kept his eye on me, or that He has not given me plenty of opportunity and  choices but it is my hard work and my making good choices that has gotten me to where I am right now.  In my own home that I can afford to heat, with job security, something being put away to help with my old age, ok credit and lots of nice stuff to enjoy.
Material goods abound here, and some of them sure are not needed, enjoyed, yes, glad I bought them, yes but I do not need both an iPad and a Nexus7.  There is the very old desktop computer and the not so old Toshiba laptop, the iTouch and the Kindle, 3 sewing machines and a serger.  Plenty of yarns and fabrics and lots of dolls and books.  Food in the house and money in the bank, maybe not much but still, money and gas in the tank of my paid for and well maintained old truck. 2 paid for Honda rides, the Metro and the Rebel, under covers and waiting for warm weather and both are in very good condition and great fun, good on gas.
Yes, a great life, the only petty gripe I often have is over slow internet and I will not pay a higher price until the very old phone lines serving this house, this town, this area are updated.  Paying a higher internet bill will not deal with those problems and I will continue to have poor service until the phone companies update their blasted wiring.