Wednesday, June 19, 2013

screwed up my finances

can't blame anyone for this one, I did it all on my own, standing in the rain, bidding on a 2008 Honda Rebel, motorcycle that will need work, that has a huge debt load on my paid off credit card, no funds for the DMV costs like sales tax, title and plate fee and I have NO valid license for running a bike this size.
It is sitting on my bike patio with the tank on the glider, the seats, it has 2, in the house, the carb gasket kit waiting for pickup in Jacksonville and me knowing I am going to be starving and struggling for months if not longer over this indulgence.
She's different build than that Nighthawk I had and loved so much and rode so much, Ben will not be riding this bike, Jake doesn't worry about Mom, knows her love of such thing and thinks she manages to keep her finances on track, I won't tell him different at this time.
Today is the panic and stress day, but I will get through this, get the bike running and licensed, insured and get that valid license for enjoying it out on the roads.
I did put the Passport up for sale, for a lot less than I paid for it, and if/when it sells, that will help a huge amount, and I need to write up ad for work that puts the radial arm saw, band saw and wood planer up for sale and try and get them sold and out of the house.  Selling them was on the plans anyway.
I will pull from savings, keep a tight budget, scramble to be practical and thrifty and get through this.
A bit of work and this new ride will take me out of town, just running the roads to escape, to enjoy and to be me, like the smaller bikes here in town but have missed the bigger bike.
I didn't think, after the accident I would ever get back to where a road bike was possible but I am to that place, healed, gained back far more of ME than I ever thought I could, know I am not the woman I was before that damn car accident, but I am far better, stronger than I was a year ago and far harder and tougher than I was before the accident.
But, my life is also far more about me and what I want and were I want to go with that life, more self centered and more selfish, and I am ok with that.
So, I will shuffle, and push the funds, will whine and grouse but all in all, I will get through it and be ok with where I am taking my life and with who I am.
Today is a bit of a down day, but it won't last long, did get part of the do list done, will not sweat the stuff that did not get done, know I manage my life so it works out, and pull through the messes, get things back on track and working.
Jake will get his jeep out of the shop and quit running my truck, I will get the laundry done, the dog fed, the Passport sold, the new bike licensed and running and I will enjoy the summer.

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