Changes

The season is changing, the trees are loosing their leaves and despite the 75 degrees today I know fall is here. Another summer has come and gone here in IL, but I didn't make much progress with the garden or the flower beds or with the old house renovations.
I did make a lot of progress with healing from the January car accident. And now I will work on dealing with the changes that has made in me, in my abilities and in who I have become.
I'm really glad to be home now, it was a long and busy work day for me, all the work shifts are long and pain filled hours now, and I miss the ability to put in an 8 hour shift and go skipping out of the plant with plenty of energy to work in the garden or go some place.
But I have made over 3 weeks back in the plant, and each week I gain a bit more strength and things get just a tiny bit easier. It will be a long and slow improvement but I am doing my share of the work load.
I'm hoping State Farm will get this settled fast once I have my final doctor appointment. I have moved it up to mid-November. I would like to know all the medical bills are paid, that I no longer have those co-pays to worry about fitting into my budget and can instead work on the co-pays on my doctor/medical bills from the appendix project and on paying down that huge amount of credit debt I have now (again).
Think about M.F. and wonder how he is doing but won't reply to either of the 2 e-mails he sent me, just filed them away. I don't know why he lied about that huge mortgage he was on, and think there is a big chance he is also on that credit debt he said she had. I know financially I cannot and will not deal with that debt load.
I will deal with my debt load and my old house with the leaking roof. I will deal with my foot and leg and my problems. And I will hope he has a good life and that he is doing well but I know not checking and not communicating is what is in my best interest.
And I am not going to get involved 'romantically' or sexually with D. H. again, but will be glad we have a friendship of sorts. It's not a close and tight friendship and I don't want that at this time with anyone. I don't have much to give to a relationship right now and I might never have much to give.
That doesn't bother or worry me, it's where I am 'at' in my life at this time and place. I need my life for me right now and I need to not worry about others and about their problems.
I'm really hurting a lot tonight so will do the futon and tv and my knitting and Kid for company and be very glad I don't work day shift tomorrow.
I need to make a list of what needs paid and have a budget plan for the coming paycheck, that is something I need to start working on so I have bills paid on time once again and so that I can know what needs paid and when once again.