Dealing with huge changes here.

I     I have been here over 12 years now, and have adjusted to change after change, and keep making my life work, keep paying my bills, supporting myself and at times, others.  And I am just fine with that, had expected to work here, at this plant until I was too disabled or old enough to retire, work for Cargill Meat Solutions, slowly pay down debt, build up some retirement benefits, put a bit in 401K, and just keep this little pattern going.

    But it seems Cargill is selling the entire pork division, including our plant, and so, I will be seeing changes, a new name to the place I work, more paperwork to do, change in who puts my paycheck into my checking account and hopefully who puts my deductions into all the places I have them going, from taxes to savings.

     So, all of us at the plant will be changing who we work for, or will be choosing to leave.  I am going to accept the job I am promised by the sales agreements, and deal with all the paperwork that will take, when the time comes.  Hopefully, once it is done, I will feel my life settle back into the rythem and patterns that I have been working to have my life be.

     I want to continue to work, continue to pay down debt, continue to work on this old house, play with my dolls, sew, knit, read my choice of books and live my funny little quiet life I treasure so much.

And this is the life I have built, day by day, and the financial stability I have created, no one has given it to me.  I have worked for and earned it.  And I have a right to keep it as stable as I can.

     I have sure failed at marriage, and had men fail me too, but I have managed to make my life work, without a man helping to pay the bills, or messing up my life.  And it works here, and I am happy, or most of the time I am happy and content.

     It took me a very long time to get this stable, both financially and emotionally, mentally but I have gotten there and am not going to let the plant ownership change rock that or any person rock that.  I am too old to want to play that game and I don't miss the company or attentions of a man, nor do I miss their attitudes, issues and wants and needs.  Maybe that is part of aging, I am not too worried about it, I sure don't need romance, and if I want some, there are silly books and movies handy to entertain me without causing my finances or my emotions any hardship.

     This past year has really settled out for me, I ended dating and started real living my life, my way, for my wants and needs.  I am more stable, my financial world is more solid, my old house has made some very needed progress and I am doing what I want or need to with my off work time.

     But I do wish we would see less rain and some good motorcycle riding time on weekends, and less biting bugs that seem to attack me every time I walk out the door.