Mid-March madness

     Well, it is the middle of March already and it is warming up some, the trees are showing signs of springs and my silly daffies have buds coming up, to go with their frosted leaves.  I did get started with raking up the dog poo and winter debris, the flower beds all need a lot of work and the pampas grass needs cut down, I hope I can burn again this spring, once I have the grass down.

     And I did some moving things up in the attic, this year my air cond. unit will be on the south end so I have more and better set up sewing area.  The fabrics are still a disorganized mess, but my working space has improved some.  And I am sewing!

     Work is going ok, it looks like I will be staying on the trimming necks job, it is easier on my old body than what I was doing, I can come home bloody for less pain and less tired at the same pay.  My hand has healed up well, not perfect but it could have been a lot worse and several of us are far more careful about how and where those wizard knives are when not in use.

     The budget and finances are very, very tight right now but I can improve that with some very careful managing my spending.  It will improve as the medical bills get paid off and gone and as credit debt goes down.  I need to manage my impulse spending, and am working on that.  I know it is my head issues and I need to work on some of them but I am gaining.

   But NOT dating, not having a 'love/sex/whatever' thing is working well for me, both head wise and financial. And I am liking my life better and my home.  And doing what I want and enjoy with my off work time, that is a huge plus.  This is a step I should have taken many years ago, and I figured out many years ago I did not need a man to make my life complete, and could sure live without the sex.

     I think part was the social push to be in a relationship, like if you want to be normal, you need a relationship.  And I now am quite happy to be the abnormal person, at work, here where I live, this small old town, and in the world in general.  Plenty of people out there, those that want a relationship can surely go find one, I am not a part of that.

     I do not want to share my home, or my finances, or my toys, tools and treasures.  I do not need someone to 'meet my needs' and I am sure not willing to meet theirs.  Yes, my head is a bit screwed up and I have some issues and problems, but none of those keep me from earning a living, paying my bills, getting the trash out in a timely manor, cleaning up after myself and my pets.  I am not generally a danger to anyone else and certainly not to myself.  

     I don't have blue days as often or pity parties, I don't hate life or the world and my tiny flashes of green envy don't last long, and I sure would not trade my life, even with all the mistakes, poor choices, and other damage and garbage, for any one else's life.

     I am able to spend my off work time doing either what I need to do, what I want to do, or what my body needs me to do, and sometimes that means down and get little or nothing done after work.

Tend to my little place, my aging body, which, at times, means pushing past a bit of pain to keep all the  ability to move and do things I can.

     I love having a sewing space with 2 sewing machines set up to use, I don't have to change thread or settings on projects or can work on 2 different things, like piecing a quilt and sewing a doll outfit.  The goal is to someday be able to have at least 3 machines up and all on the same level, so it is easier to move from 1 to another.  And more possible to help someone learn a bit and still get something done I want to do at the same time.

     Now that it is warming up I need to get the wiring work done in the future bathroom space and get a sheet of drywall up there, the batt insulation can then go under the house for storage, and every sheet of drywall installed makes 1less to do and the house just a tiny bit more energy efficient, and I like that part too.  The lower the utility bill here is, the more paycheck that can pay down debt, cover my cost of living, allow a bit of play money.

     And today I will put the scooter battery on the charger and charge it up some.  It really needs replaced but if it will take some charge, I can always kick start the scooter.  It also needs a new, cheap Walmart milk crate because the last one died.  I need to remember to replace those every couple years as they sun damage and there is no way I will have a car port/garage/bike shelter any year soon.

     But the load of laundry is ready for the dryer, the sun is up, the light frost is almost gone outside and I have sewing waiting for me in my studio, which I love. So, refill my coffee cup and off to enjoy my Sunday.