Tired and a bit blue

Work has issues, rotation does not go well this week due to manning issues, not in my control and I need to work on not letting the situation and the people make waves in my pond.  I like it when I have smooth days, we rotate in a tidy and timely manor and the pace stays steady.  That is not this week, at least not so far.

But the kitchen floor is still clean, I mopped it twice this past weekend, and I have swept the living room floor and upstairs so that is house chores done, at least for now.

The sun is out but it is not very warm, but I need to get someone to come mow and my hostas are coming up.  The roses are starting to leaf out some but I am not seeing any signs of life from any pampas grass clumps.  I worry that I might have lost all of me and it will take several years to get something else growing that will create a living privacy fence for me.

Still no word from the concrete contractor, wish I would hear something soon and see that patio pour done.  I might call him later this week.

Mike Ferrin is now teaching some beginning pottery classes, involved with some Vet. organization and made me a yarn bowl, it arrived yesterday and brightened my wet, cold and gloomy day.  I now have it living on the kitchen bench with my current sock project and it is nice to not be chasing the ball of yarn.

I don't have any real reasons to feel sad and blue so I will blame it on chemical balance, maybe too much pain from work, or the wet and cold weather we keep having.

My life really is very good, finances are snug but I am making progress with the house, with the debt load and still managing to stay fed and keep gas in my truck.  The house is quiet, ok, so the dog is not exactly quiet but no tv and no video games, no heavy political conversation I do not want drug into.  I am not lonely and do not want company or conversation or entertainment, I am doing the heel on the 2nd sock of the long, dark socks I am knitting.

I need several pair of long socks for my Clayville wear and we know I will knit, not buy them.  This first pair is from some more of the yarn left over from Jake's sweater, and in time I will buy yarn in gray to knit another pair.  I do not want white socks, I know how fast they will be dingy looking with me wearing them and weeding the garden or any other outside things I will be doing.

So, I don't want playmates, or tv or conversation, maybe some music, a bit more to eat, work a bit on the sock, read a bit while I knit and get to bed early will help me.  

Open jobs are posted tomorrow, the high point of my Wednesday at the plant, I hope to find something that will suit my body better than what I am doing and on day shift kill floor as I know my body will not tolerate the cold of the cut floor and I do not want to go back to working 2nd shift.

I know part of my problem is being so tired and hurting so much, so hopefully I can change that by bidding to a job that suits my old body better.

But I am working and earn more than I would have coming in if I was on disability, and I am happier than if I was on disability, and I will get through this blue spot.