Done with taxes for this year

For the first time in more than 20 years I have not bought tax software and I am not doing taxes for any one else but I will lend a hand to my sons and a couple friends.

My federal return paid down some debt and let me get caught up on a few things, like groceries and household supplies.  My state return will be going on credit card debt, have way too much of that and buying dolls has not helped, but it is my money, my life and my problems if I over spend.

Right now I should be working on some doll quilts for a friend, she will be going to UFDC this year, as usual but I won't be going.  And she will attend a dessert, I am paying the fee for that and doing doll quilts for hostess gifts so she doesn't have to come up with something.  She is very busy with doll stuff for things she is involved with so I decided I could use up some fabrics and batting I have on hand and do small doll quilts for her.

I won a bid to an easier job in the plant than what I had been doing, have been training on it a week now and am making progress, but I need to be more firm with the women who are doing that job but do not own the job, I need to spend more time doing the job to learn it and not standing watching them, they would have me just stand and watch most of the shift if I was willing.  Today I had a watch in my pocket so kept track of time and made sure I did the job for anywhere from 30 minutes to over an hour at a stretch, they both are good at asking if I am tired after about 5 minutes.  I can not learn a job if I do not do the work, and I did win the bid and have the right to learn how to do the job, qualify on it and own it.

It has not been a really bad winter here but this month has been cold and windy and colder, so I have done plenty of whining.  But the house is comfortable most of the time, I can afford the heat bills and I am slowly working on the medical bills that my being so run down cost me, along with over a month off work with NO pay.

I will pay what I can on those medical bills but some of the debt comes first, as does groceries.  I do know that the medical bills need paid off as quickly as I can get it done, but it is just going to take months on some of them.  I am not willing to put every penny I can scrape up on those bills, I will not cut back on some things, and life will survive it.  But the sooner the medical bills are paid off, the happier I will be, I have no idea right now just how many separate accounts they are, the hospital up in Rushville has quite a few, that way they can charge me and my insurance more, but this will be the last time I see any doctors there or go there for any testing, it has added quite a bit more to what I end up paying and of course, cost my insurance more also.  I learned and I will not be sent there again.

But I do have a doll on preorder and I do have 1 I got from eBay that should arrive here Friday, if the tracking is correct.  And no clothes for her, but need to finish some other things before I play, commitments I made, that matter to me.  So,maybe I can fit a doll outfit in this weekend if I get busy tonight and tomorrow after work.

Making progress

So, now I have been back to work 3 weeks now, and it has been almost that long since I had a seizure/fit/episode so I am gaining on replacing minerals, iron and electrolytes.  And, most days I am not beat tired as I walk out of the plant.  We have been very hot on the harvest/kill floor, especially the past 2 days and I was shaky before the shift was done so had warm Gatorade before leaving.
The box of doll eyes, eye putty and 2 wig caps was here but not the expected box of yarn.  I think our local post office  holds some things for Saturday delivery so they can justify those hours and I would not be surprised if that is going on in many places.  The yarn shipping shows an expected delivery date of 2/5 or 2/6 and it was not coming from very far away, my new skin for the iPad was in Springfield postal system by Wednesday evening but has an expected delivery of Saturday.  Oh, well, not much I can do about what the post office does as long as things arrive safely and within reasonable time.
I am really liking not dating and not having phone calls from a man I don't have much to say to.  I know I am living a very spoiled, self indulgent, self centered life.  But, hey, I support myself and have for many years now, over 10, and I pay my bills, work full time, take care of my responsibilities so my time off work is MINE, and there is no law that makes me spend time with a man, or reason to do things with my free time to please someone else at my expense.
I did that often enough in the past and I am done with it. 
This week I don't have any play money so I will be content to do things at home and hope to get some sewing done for the dolls, some knitting done and my state taxes filed, now that I have the printer software installed in the laptop.  I have a few other chores that need done, like clean the bird cage, do laundry and some bathroom cleaning, but that still leaves me time to sew for my dolls.
I am still waiting for itemized bills from the local hospital for the medical testing done there but the checks are written out and figured out of the bank balance.  I just will not pay on the bills without getting an itemized bill so I know what I am paying for.  My work insurance has already paid their part.  I do expect to see more bills from Prairie Heart and will be making payments on that too.
But my federal tax refund did go to paying down credit debt, stocking up the kitchen cupboards and a few other things I needed or wanted. 
Last year taxes went to the survey and then the patio pour, along with paycheck funds and the money from selling the lot in MO. I hope to keep gaining on paying down debt load, on old house progress and building up savings, including my 4O1s.  I should be able to increase the Roth by 1% this weekend, that will add at least $280 more each year to what is already going in.
And i have a Kaye Wiggs doll on pre-order at Jpopdolls.  So, that is the remaining debt on the Barclay card, which started with my iPad, and was my Touch, the replacement since delivery guy stole the red Touch, my Rebel and my 2nd Nexus 7, the first one being given to Ben.
I think my life is really good, the granite is finally done, I did have a follow up call from Lowes and did make sure the guy was aware of the cabinet door issue so that matter is on a priority list.  I know I have a lot of woodwork/trim work to do but I will work on that as I have funds, bills first, support for the front/west side of the house so I can start working on supporting the porch roof and tearing out the crappy porch landing and support, replacing rotted out sill plate and rebuilding a porch so the roof can then be supported, the porch roof can get a metal roof and I will be closer to starting to tear off the old siding, repairs, insulation and heading towards something for siding.
Years and lots of money and lots of time, the house has had 10 + years and funds and that will continue, it i MY home, and I like it, life here works for me, and I plan to keep on working, on that old house and on the life I am living.     

Time to reassess my life and direction

I am on my third week back at work, the disability pay will finally be paid so I can start paying on the growing mountain of medical bills.
The winter is being milder than last winter, the kitchen renovation is still dragging on, the front/west will plate is rotting out, due to the front porch, so now I need to put support under the floor joists as soon as possible and then support outside for the porch roof and start tearing out the concrete and build a new porch, steps,replace roof support, it never ends here.
But I seem to like my life, and all the small parts that make up this quiet life.
The not dating is working well for me, like the time I have and what I am doing with it.  Less stress, more quality and I am where I want to be, at my home and not elsewhere.
Glad to have my taxes filed for the Federal, and will do the state on the first of February, have a list of where the funds go, most to debt, and the iPad goes off to Apple for a battery replacement.
Past my bedtime, another long and hard day at the pig plant tomorrow.

Long medical leave but finally back to work

And I did not enjoy the paperwork battles, and still have not gotten any disability pay but that paperwork hassle is making some progress.  I did get a clean bill of heart health, the arythmia which I can't even spell right, was not the problem, the grand mal seizure was the cause of the heart acting funny, and small petit mal seizures kept it dancing a bit.

And electrolites or rather the lack of them probably was a big contribution to the seizure stuff.

So, a lot of tests, lab work, time off work I really could not afford but at least now I have a better idea of what I need to keep balanced and will be sucking down gallons and gallons of Gateraid to help keep that electrolites in better balance.  

But I did get 3 quilts done, repaired, clean and on the blanket shelf, did some doll sewing and sold 1 outfit, started designing a sweater, doll sized and because I was suffering from sweater envy.  I am actually writing understandable directions, that could work into a pattern, and the sweater, with lovely braided cables, is getting close to done and should fit my Berdine Creedy doll.  I think the pattern will be easy for me to tweak to fit other dolls and to change the texturing stitches.  

The counters are here, it is great to have a working kitchen sink, and I did not upgrade that, but the one that came free with the granite is very nice.  The east wall back splash broke on the way into the house, the seams need sealed and the corner at the breaker box needs to be trimmed a bit so that door will open.  

But it is great to have a good, working kitchen finally and I am so glad I refinanced for enough to go with quality and very handicap friendly cabinets and the granite.  And base cabinets set at my comfort level is a real plus and worth the extra costs.

I am glad to be back at work, wish I had not been off work at all but some things just happen and then you find a way to deal with them.  I do have most of the work done to file my taxes, and it is waiting for the release of some energy credit form, which since i replaced a door and several windows with new and energy efficient ones will get me a bit more return if I wait for the form to be released.  The IRS is not accepting returns until 1/20 so I should have it by then and push the button for electronic filing.

The weather has improved some, above freezing now and the snow and ice have melted away, the patio needs swept as soon as it is dry, and I keep hoping Julie gets her fridge moved soon.

The truck is still hauling scraps of drywall around and might be until the city has clean up, and I will get rid of the old mattress and box spring then also.

Finances are not very good but should improve, I lack patience and get ticked off about the paperwork drag out, the lost wages, the fact that I didn't realize how depleted my body was getting until I was off work and catching up.

But I cannot change what has been done, so will live with it and work on getting life back onto the workable track that is my life, on my terms.

I know not dating is sure working well, as is staying home unless I have to go some place, work, what errands I have to do, home.  I have not even done breakfast at McDonalds for weeks and I am sure they are managing just fine.  I have money on my card for that but stayed home while I was off work on medical and now I just don't have the time or desire.  

Plus, I am working on keeping most of my life out of reach of the gossip mill and fools who have not much more to do with their lives than talk about other people.

I have far less tolerance for people and their issues, problems and so forth than I did several months ago, or several years ago.  So, I am not very friendly and my health issues are my business and not their concern, and I will manage just fine to take care of my medical issues and my old house projects and my work.

And I will play dolls, and read books, watch my choice of entertainment on my own tv and in my own house.

And I am telling people I do not know, who come to the house that, yes, the dog does bite, he has very good teeth, no, I do not need anyone to haul off the fridge, it belongs to a friend who really needs to get it moved, and no, I do not need the sink hauled off, I will take care of that myself, and yes, I do ride both those bikes, 1 is my summer ride to work and the other is my escape and freedom.

So, now, back to the book and the knitting and the yummy herbal tea.

Human issues and God

I absolutely believe in God, or the existence of something far beyond my human understanding that exists, and is involved with our tiny human lives.  I do believe in the birth and death of Jesus, and that of the teacher called Budda.

I believe in a final judgement of a soul, after it has moved on from the body it resides/ resided in.  And I believe in reincarnation.

I believe in forgiveness and in forgiving but I think that some sort of rules are in force here.  If I deliberately hurt or harm, or cause harm, attempt to cause harm to someone, it only by repenting of my actions and Asking Them for that forgiveness do balance or start to correct that wrong, their forgiving me, once I am dead does not fix this wrong with God or the world, but if the issue troubles that person, their forgiving me after death can make them more comfortable.  It does not gain the dead anything, they are still accountable for their actions and get to sort it out with God.

Death is not an automatic clean slate wipe for the soul, and if I see no reason to forgive the dead, that does not make me a bad person, their sins are not weighing on my soul, mine are.  And if what wrong they did me is long past and I have lived years beyond the reach of that person, good for me.

I do believe that God is firmly in charge of those scales of justice and can sleep well, knowing it is with God first I keep my life in balance.

No, I am not forgiving some nasty, mean bit of humanity, but I am also not letting their past actions make any waves in my emotional pond.  They were not worth packing around in my load of emotional garbage I pack around.  Their actions eventually got them terminated from our mutual place of employment, solved my being harassed by them and in time I relocated in another state.

So, no, this death makes little waves in my pond.  I am thankful to now be employed where our management takes swift action to stop harassment long before it has much of a start and where no one tells me I need a better sense of humor when I ask management to put a stop to my being harassed in the work place.

The rough and rocky road I walk.

The kitchen is close to done, some trim work and painting, the counters to come and be installed, me to plumb the new sink, so that is looking better.  The mortgage papers are signed and Tuesday I pick up the check and will have Lowe's paid off and some on the rest of my debt load.

But I am not working, and have no income, have a heart condition and am chasing medical tests and the leave/disability pay paperwork and trying to make sure this medical issue does not cost me my much needed and much liked job in a place I like to work, with good pay and benefits.

In the meantime, I do not see the cardiologist again until 1/7/2015, all the tests should be done by then and I will learn what has been found and hopefully get on a treatment plan that will allow me to be back at work and a stable life with a manageable health condition.

I have managed to get the allergies and asthma into a very controlled and livable issue and I have managed to get the physical damage from the car accident into a livable life and working again with very livable pain levels so I believe I can conquer this health issue too.

But the days get long, I have plenty of small jobs here I can work on, both old house, cleaning and sewing, mending, knitting, designing for the dolls, sewing for the dolls so there is plenty here to entertain me with little or no cost.

But I miss work, miss the job, the people, the routine and balance it gives my silly little life.  I will manage but it will take time and effort, pouting and feeling sorry for myself will not fix a thing, action, positive thought, planning will.

But I had my first dinner guests in my kitchen, Sam, who came to see Jake and bring over a car, and Jake's girlfriend and her mother.  The potatoes and chicken went into the grill, Ben helped with a lot of quick house cleaning and kitchen tidying up, Jake bought the chicken and made sure his dad didn't get too lost and we survived.

Next time I want a working kitchen sink and the counters installed, a bit more planning time and to not be feeling sick from the stress test I had yesterday.

But, we did ok, no one starved, we all had clean dish ware to eat from, and Shadow survived being chained outside so we humans did not have to battle or trip over him.

How Jake managed to get his dad to drive over here, alone is amazing, Sam hates long drives, roads he does not know, but he made it with little problem.  I would like to route him back the way I usually run but as Jake will be going with him, Jake is buying the little car Sam drove over, nice looking and makes me wish I could afford it.

But the house is quiet, the weather is staying mild, the old house is looking better and I feel a bit more positive about my life now than I did when I headed to bed last night.

Damn all theives, everywhere

Ya, I know, I have a huge attitude about thieves, and especially people working jobs where their employer expect them to be trusted and so do customers.  Right now my big issue is with the delivery service that delivered my new kitchen cabinets to my home.  2 youngish men, both white, according to my son who was home to accept that delivery last week, Thursday.
One was outside most of the time, and when in my home, only helping move larger cardboard boxes into the designated location area, corner of the kitchen where those cabinets end up installed.  The other man, the 1 who was in the kitchen most of the time, the man with the metal clipboard with storage area, ya I have 1 of those that is plastic.  He is probably the person who stole my iPod Touch, 5th generation, special edition red, engraved on the back, wearing a Journey's End skin from DecalGril, and a shock protective hot pink cover.  The iPod, which was on the small shelf by my charging station was certainly home, where it lives, in my kitchen when I left for work Thursday morning.
I have that 'find my missing device' app activated, and phone calls were made to Lowes, to KraftMade cabinets and a call back to me from the delivery company and a long conversation twice now with a very polite and nice sounding woman.  This does not return my missing and much missed device, this does not keep that man from stealing from others but I hope hie get caught, and I hope he looses his job, that his life gets miserable and that he learns that stealing from homes of people or businesses he is delivering to is a very bad choice.
But I know I can replace the device, and I have been busy changing a lot of passwords, to all those apps that are in my passcoded, locked device that I hope he got very little $ from selling or will never be able to make usable.
I plan to keep it logged on my Apple account, and I do not plan to set things to erase the data on that device, so, maybe lifting that bright pink Apple device will not work out so well in his life.  I want his life to become very miserable.
And I have the same attitude about the 2 people at our plant who were terminated recently for stealing food from our cafeteria, we earn enough to pay for that food, and the much poorly paid employees of our cafeteria contractor get reamed over those food losses.  That stuff is all figured out and someone in their management knows how short the sales are, their employees get harassed by their management and held at fault for something they really cannot prevent.  So, no, I don't feel bad for that woman who has worked the plant as long or longer than I have or the man that was also caught.  They knew they were stealing and they knew if caught, and proven the company policy is termination.
So, now that I have vented, and whined, I will continue to live my good life, hope the cabinet installer is here tomorrow and makes good progress, the counter company will be here next Friday and I will be off work on a paid vacation day to be here, they are measuring and I have decisions to make on the counters.
Once that has a bill, I can get with my bank and all the kitchen costs end up rolled into a new mortgage, and my life settles back into a quiet winter routine with work, old house projects and my dolls, sewing, knitting and reading books.
And I will daily check for a location on my missing Touch and daily ill wish that man who stole it from my home.
Jake is right when he says my weapon of choice is a heavy battleax.