I now own 1 '94 Ford Ranger and 3 Honda bikes, '81 Passport, 2008 Rebel and the '13 Metro, all need the oil changed, I am working on carburetors on 2 of the bikes, which means they also have no gas in the tank, and my truck has about 1/4 of a tank, it had over 1/2 the last time I drove it.
Son Jake's jeep is in the shop, he is running my truck, I don't mind except he does not like putting much gas in vehicles, think he got that from his dad.
Son Ben wants to ride my bikes and meddles if he is here and I have a bike project/maintenance job going, he also is very good at burning the gas I paid for and not replacing it.
So, this am I need to run to J-ville for bike parts and gee, there is my pickup, finally home and gee, not much gas, Metro is too small to run that far and back in a reasonable time, and I am Not happy Mommy...but I will get gas $ from Jake, be very happy he is the current 'at home' son as he does NOT want to ride, meddle with or otherwise have anything to do with My Honda rides.
I do have the Passport up for sale, and I do owe $$$ on the Rebel, but the Metro is almost paid off, and the $ I save on gas running here in town is great, so life will get better, I will resolve the carburetor problems, replace a gas line or 2, get bikes back together and gas in their tanks and I will get gas $ from Jake this morning. The sun is out and I have a good life, despite the bike issues, the nearly empty gas tank in my truck issue and work issues. My finances are not good, but they are livable and most of the time I am happy, would be happier if 2 or 3 of those bikes were running this week, like in the next day or so...
Monday, June 24, 2013
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
screwed up my finances
can't blame anyone for this one, I did it all on my own, standing in the rain, bidding on a 2008 Honda Rebel, motorcycle that will need work, that has a huge debt load on my paid off credit card, no funds for the DMV costs like sales tax, title and plate fee and I have NO valid license for running a bike this size.
It is sitting on my bike patio with the tank on the glider, the seats, it has 2, in the house, the carb gasket kit waiting for pickup in Jacksonville and me knowing I am going to be starving and struggling for months if not longer over this indulgence.
She's different build than that Nighthawk I had and loved so much and rode so much, Ben will not be riding this bike, Jake doesn't worry about Mom, knows her love of such thing and thinks she manages to keep her finances on track, I won't tell him different at this time.
Today is the panic and stress day, but I will get through this, get the bike running and licensed, insured and get that valid license for enjoying it out on the roads.
I did put the Passport up for sale, for a lot less than I paid for it, and if/when it sells, that will help a huge amount, and I need to write up ad for work that puts the radial arm saw, band saw and wood planer up for sale and try and get them sold and out of the house. Selling them was on the plans anyway.
I will pull from savings, keep a tight budget, scramble to be practical and thrifty and get through this.
A bit of work and this new ride will take me out of town, just running the roads to escape, to enjoy and to be me, like the smaller bikes here in town but have missed the bigger bike.
I didn't think, after the accident I would ever get back to where a road bike was possible but I am to that place, healed, gained back far more of ME than I ever thought I could, know I am not the woman I was before that damn car accident, but I am far better, stronger than I was a year ago and far harder and tougher than I was before the accident.
But, my life is also far more about me and what I want and were I want to go with that life, more self centered and more selfish, and I am ok with that.
So, I will shuffle, and push the funds, will whine and grouse but all in all, I will get through it and be ok with where I am taking my life and with who I am.
Today is a bit of a down day, but it won't last long, did get part of the do list done, will not sweat the stuff that did not get done, know I manage my life so it works out, and pull through the messes, get things back on track and working.
Jake will get his jeep out of the shop and quit running my truck, I will get the laundry done, the dog fed, the Passport sold, the new bike licensed and running and I will enjoy the summer.
It is sitting on my bike patio with the tank on the glider, the seats, it has 2, in the house, the carb gasket kit waiting for pickup in Jacksonville and me knowing I am going to be starving and struggling for months if not longer over this indulgence.
She's different build than that Nighthawk I had and loved so much and rode so much, Ben will not be riding this bike, Jake doesn't worry about Mom, knows her love of such thing and thinks she manages to keep her finances on track, I won't tell him different at this time.
Today is the panic and stress day, but I will get through this, get the bike running and licensed, insured and get that valid license for enjoying it out on the roads.
I did put the Passport up for sale, for a lot less than I paid for it, and if/when it sells, that will help a huge amount, and I need to write up ad for work that puts the radial arm saw, band saw and wood planer up for sale and try and get them sold and out of the house. Selling them was on the plans anyway.
I will pull from savings, keep a tight budget, scramble to be practical and thrifty and get through this.
A bit of work and this new ride will take me out of town, just running the roads to escape, to enjoy and to be me, like the smaller bikes here in town but have missed the bigger bike.
I didn't think, after the accident I would ever get back to where a road bike was possible but I am to that place, healed, gained back far more of ME than I ever thought I could, know I am not the woman I was before that damn car accident, but I am far better, stronger than I was a year ago and far harder and tougher than I was before the accident.
But, my life is also far more about me and what I want and were I want to go with that life, more self centered and more selfish, and I am ok with that.
So, I will shuffle, and push the funds, will whine and grouse but all in all, I will get through it and be ok with where I am taking my life and with who I am.
Today is a bit of a down day, but it won't last long, did get part of the do list done, will not sweat the stuff that did not get done, know I manage my life so it works out, and pull through the messes, get things back on track and working.
Jake will get his jeep out of the shop and quit running my truck, I will get the laundry done, the dog fed, the Passport sold, the new bike licensed and running and I will enjoy the summer.
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
finding a way to deal with what I can't change
So, I find myself buying or looking at buying things that I don't need and that the budget really should not stretch for, so I need to think out the issues and problems in my life and deal with them, so need to list them and start sorting out what can be done, what needs changed and what I need to find ways to adjust to.
I want to be happy with my life and with who I am so now need to sort out why that is not where I am in my small world and my head.
So, now I have to face some things that I have been trying to hide from, and ya, I do have a few ideas of what those things are so guess it's not that hard to know where to start.
I don't have someone to talk things out with, and I don't have a close friend or partner in life, and I don't have a good relationship with the man I date, I just have a 'get by' one.
Work has some issues but I know they are not at the heart of my real problems and they are not the WHY I am buying myself stuff that is not on the budget. I will work out the work issues, some will resolve themselves if I just let them and ya, I am smart enough to do that.
So, Maggie, deal with what you can, find the ways to accept what you cannot or will not change and get the budget back on track, be happy with all the goodies, toys, dolls I have,
I want to be happy with my life and with who I am so now need to sort out why that is not where I am in my small world and my head.
So, now I have to face some things that I have been trying to hide from, and ya, I do have a few ideas of what those things are so guess it's not that hard to know where to start.
I don't have someone to talk things out with, and I don't have a close friend or partner in life, and I don't have a good relationship with the man I date, I just have a 'get by' one.
Work has some issues but I know they are not at the heart of my real problems and they are not the WHY I am buying myself stuff that is not on the budget. I will work out the work issues, some will resolve themselves if I just let them and ya, I am smart enough to do that.
So, Maggie, deal with what you can, find the ways to accept what you cannot or will not change and get the budget back on track, be happy with all the goodies, toys, dolls I have,
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Work changes and rivers
It has been a busy week or two here, the river is well above flood stage and we are under a possible evacuation here in town. I am not hugely stressed about it but I do have my scooters sitting in the kitchen so they are higher and not out handy to roll away when I am not around this weekend.
At work we are no longer washing the mesh gloves so my job duties have changed as have those of others, both on my shift and on day shift.
Add in our work areas are also changing, our lead has been on vacation and now has a broken shoulder that happened less than 2 hours into her first shift back from vacation. So chaos reigns this week around here and I am not yet ready for the doll club event that our club is hosting this coming Saturday.
So, now at work I no longer sort racks of equipment and pins, that is now Barb's job and I bag equipment all shift. And we will both adjust and learn to do and keep up with the change of job duties.
After over a week of rains, we are having sunshine and warming up, I have a lot of work outside to try and catch up on but I have about 2/3 of the pampas grass cut down and burnt and have mowed once.
Life is going ok, I keep the bills paid, most of the time I am content with my life and who I am, it is not perfect but I make it work.
At work we are no longer washing the mesh gloves so my job duties have changed as have those of others, both on my shift and on day shift.
Add in our work areas are also changing, our lead has been on vacation and now has a broken shoulder that happened less than 2 hours into her first shift back from vacation. So chaos reigns this week around here and I am not yet ready for the doll club event that our club is hosting this coming Saturday.
So, now at work I no longer sort racks of equipment and pins, that is now Barb's job and I bag equipment all shift. And we will both adjust and learn to do and keep up with the change of job duties.
After over a week of rains, we are having sunshine and warming up, I have a lot of work outside to try and catch up on but I have about 2/3 of the pampas grass cut down and burnt and have mowed once.
Life is going ok, I keep the bills paid, most of the time I am content with my life and who I am, it is not perfect but I make it work.
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
feeling lost, trying to find me or at least direction
Yesterday it was a phone call from a collection agency, looking for Kenn Gean, have not seen or heard from that man for years, like Thanksgiving weekend 1999. A man who always lied, who chose to never live with me, to never provide a home I could relocate to and live with him and who chose to demand I accept his idea of a 'good marriage' or live without him.
My finances and self esteem improved greatly when I chose to ship his few items to his employer, never had a real home address for the man, nor a home phone number, it was short, expensive and stupid, and he is still having financial issues that get calls to my phone number, living in a state he never lived in, in a home he has never seen, a phone number he has never had.
But, then, I seem to make a lot of crappy choices in the men in my life, my life is a track record of crappy and stupid choices and then my working to clean up the mess, fix the financial issues, I even made a very crappy choice in the contractor for a new roof on this old house and it cost me about double what a court judgement finally awarded me out of the large deposit I made on that contract.
But I am keeping my bills paid, and I am slowly digging my way out of debt, and I am slowly fixing this old house, might even see sheet rock/drywall start going up in the attic space this weekend, not much but even 1 sheet is a start, right?
And I keep going to work every day, days I hurt, days I feel a bit under the weather, days my mood sucks and I want to call in and just ditch work. I go to work and I do my job, and I keep working on staying stable, on dealing with what I have to deal with, 1 thing at a time, 1 day at a time.
No law says I have to be happy and cheerful all the time, no law says I have to always like myself and my life, or other humans. I do like me, and my life, most of the time, and there is a very short list of other humans I really care deeply for, a longer list of those I like somewhat and a huge list of those who don't really matter to me. And that too, is ok.
So, again today I am showered and dressed for work, and I will again go to the plant and do my job, and be ok with that, and know the money makes a difference in keeping the bills paid and in having a few dollars extra to buy something I want, to do a bit more work on this old house, add some music to my tunes collection, or a book, or meal out.
Huge difference from the skipping meals to feed my young children poverty I had when Stormy was small and Bryon was a baby, and a big difference from when I lived in Green City MO, and thought I would always have plenty of play money.
Much quieter life than when I lived in Idaho Falls, far better life than when I lived in Charleston S.C. or Maine.
Lots of years, lots of miles and living, and I am ok with who I am and where I am, but I don't want to go to work today, want to stay home and play in my attic, move stuff to get ready for the weekend project, shelves behind the future bathroom there, want to work on my shelf boards, 3 left to round the edges and sand down a bit, but no, I won't do that. I will go to Cargill and work, and I will spend most of that time alone with tunes cranking in my ears, that iPod Touch I bought myself playing my choice of music.
My finances and self esteem improved greatly when I chose to ship his few items to his employer, never had a real home address for the man, nor a home phone number, it was short, expensive and stupid, and he is still having financial issues that get calls to my phone number, living in a state he never lived in, in a home he has never seen, a phone number he has never had.
But, then, I seem to make a lot of crappy choices in the men in my life, my life is a track record of crappy and stupid choices and then my working to clean up the mess, fix the financial issues, I even made a very crappy choice in the contractor for a new roof on this old house and it cost me about double what a court judgement finally awarded me out of the large deposit I made on that contract.
But I am keeping my bills paid, and I am slowly digging my way out of debt, and I am slowly fixing this old house, might even see sheet rock/drywall start going up in the attic space this weekend, not much but even 1 sheet is a start, right?
And I keep going to work every day, days I hurt, days I feel a bit under the weather, days my mood sucks and I want to call in and just ditch work. I go to work and I do my job, and I keep working on staying stable, on dealing with what I have to deal with, 1 thing at a time, 1 day at a time.
No law says I have to be happy and cheerful all the time, no law says I have to always like myself and my life, or other humans. I do like me, and my life, most of the time, and there is a very short list of other humans I really care deeply for, a longer list of those I like somewhat and a huge list of those who don't really matter to me. And that too, is ok.
So, again today I am showered and dressed for work, and I will again go to the plant and do my job, and be ok with that, and know the money makes a difference in keeping the bills paid and in having a few dollars extra to buy something I want, to do a bit more work on this old house, add some music to my tunes collection, or a book, or meal out.
Huge difference from the skipping meals to feed my young children poverty I had when Stormy was small and Bryon was a baby, and a big difference from when I lived in Green City MO, and thought I would always have plenty of play money.
Much quieter life than when I lived in Idaho Falls, far better life than when I lived in Charleston S.C. or Maine.
Lots of years, lots of miles and living, and I am ok with who I am and where I am, but I don't want to go to work today, want to stay home and play in my attic, move stuff to get ready for the weekend project, shelves behind the future bathroom there, want to work on my shelf boards, 3 left to round the edges and sand down a bit, but no, I won't do that. I will go to Cargill and work, and I will spend most of that time alone with tunes cranking in my ears, that iPod Touch I bought myself playing my choice of music.
Friday, October 26, 2012
whining about the cold and see the funny side
So, yesterday was over 70 and I ran my scooter around town before work, today it was below 40 when I got up and I am whining and wrapped in a lovely, hand knit, from hand dyed yarns shawl and know my life is pretty good.
The bills are paid, extra paid on those I pay this week, 1 account once again paid off, still funds in the bank, gas in the truck and a job to keep earning the funds that support this life.
I did give Ben the Apple nano6 that was sent in exchange for my nano1, it has software issues, I reload the software and for a while it will play through and then it is back to repeating the same song, I change songs manually but that really stinks at work, very inconvenient.
I know I still have my iPod Classic that has 80g drive and lots of room for more music than I have in it but I want the new Nano, but there are no cases yet for it, skins, yes, at DecalGirl, even the library shelves skin that matches what I have on my Kindle and on my iPad, which is still not yet paid for.
So, no reason to whine, I can turn the heat above 71, the attic has sun streaming in the south window and is very cosy, the skies are blue and the temp is coming up, but I want to whine about the cold and about wanting a silly little techie device I do not need.
So, maybe I will pay a bit more on my Lowes account or my account that has the Apple devices, or maybe I will just be smart about money and remember that I have plans to go to a Mall next Sunday with the Cargill bus trip and that I wan to do soffit work the next weekend and the bill for the materials for that are over $260 which currently means pulling from slush funds to help pay for the materials.
I have plenty of great yarns for knitting, food in the house and I can afford to buy more, the phone and internet bill is paid for this month, the truck and scooter both have full gas tanks.
And I know even with the overtime slowing down or ending in mid-December, I can still pay the heat bills, the water bills, keep food in the house, gas in the truck and like the life I have, but I am going to whine a bit today about the drop in temps and know we here have been very fortunate with our weather and know I have a really good life.
Small issues, and a really manageable life with far more good 'stuff' in it than bad.
The bills are paid, extra paid on those I pay this week, 1 account once again paid off, still funds in the bank, gas in the truck and a job to keep earning the funds that support this life.
I did give Ben the Apple nano6 that was sent in exchange for my nano1, it has software issues, I reload the software and for a while it will play through and then it is back to repeating the same song, I change songs manually but that really stinks at work, very inconvenient.
I know I still have my iPod Classic that has 80g drive and lots of room for more music than I have in it but I want the new Nano, but there are no cases yet for it, skins, yes, at DecalGirl, even the library shelves skin that matches what I have on my Kindle and on my iPad, which is still not yet paid for.
So, no reason to whine, I can turn the heat above 71, the attic has sun streaming in the south window and is very cosy, the skies are blue and the temp is coming up, but I want to whine about the cold and about wanting a silly little techie device I do not need.
So, maybe I will pay a bit more on my Lowes account or my account that has the Apple devices, or maybe I will just be smart about money and remember that I have plans to go to a Mall next Sunday with the Cargill bus trip and that I wan to do soffit work the next weekend and the bill for the materials for that are over $260 which currently means pulling from slush funds to help pay for the materials.
I have plenty of great yarns for knitting, food in the house and I can afford to buy more, the phone and internet bill is paid for this month, the truck and scooter both have full gas tanks.
And I know even with the overtime slowing down or ending in mid-December, I can still pay the heat bills, the water bills, keep food in the house, gas in the truck and like the life I have, but I am going to whine a bit today about the drop in temps and know we here have been very fortunate with our weather and know I have a really good life.
Small issues, and a really manageable life with far more good 'stuff' in it than bad.
Friday, October 12, 2012
Blue but working through it
I don't have a reason, I don't know where it came from or why but I am again battling the blues once more. Finances are ok, work is ok, old house is making some progress, my life is stable so no reason to be blue.
We are working every Saturday so it might be just that my body is getting tired, pain levels are ok, in fact, considering the long hours I am on my feet at work, pain level is very low.
The knitting is going ok, starting the heel on a sock for Jake, Sharon's shawl is doing well, and I have plenty of yarn and needles to play with.
No problems with the dating relationship and so far this fall, we are not bitter cold or drowning so I can't blame the weather either.
So, I work on doing what has to be done, here and at work, and I know this will pass, I pay better retention to my eating choices, and keep my finances in order and know I will be ok, it will lift, the clouds do lift, and I get ok.
We are working every Saturday so it might be just that my body is getting tired, pain levels are ok, in fact, considering the long hours I am on my feet at work, pain level is very low.
The knitting is going ok, starting the heel on a sock for Jake, Sharon's shawl is doing well, and I have plenty of yarn and needles to play with.
No problems with the dating relationship and so far this fall, we are not bitter cold or drowning so I can't blame the weather either.
So, I work on doing what has to be done, here and at work, and I know this will pass, I pay better retention to my eating choices, and keep my finances in order and know I will be ok, it will lift, the clouds do lift, and I get ok.
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